This post comes from my podcast, Motivation For Moms episode 68, entitled "Raise Your Ambitions."Be sure to subscribe to Motivation For Moms to get the latest show episodes as they are published, and please write a review, which is the ultimate gift to me.
Last week I did an episode about doing mid-year check-in, and I asked you to check in with yourself about where you’re at in your life and if you’re where you want to be, if you’re living as the person you want be. Maybe 2020 hasn’t been the year you hoped for so far. But it doesn’t have to finish out that way. Despite the world events around you, YOU get to choose who you want to be from here on out. You get to choose how you spend your time from here on out. You get to choose what life is like at home from here on out. You get to decide your family’s future. You are the queen of your tribe, and you control the tides in your family. It’s time to stop playing victim to the challenges of your life and start taking ownership of how you’re showing up and the life you get to live. If you’re alive, them anything is possible from here on out, if you just decide.
Today I want you to think about how you want to execute the rest of the year, what a successful rest of 2020 looks like for you. I want you to start asking “what IF questions”. Let’s redefine success for your life, and this idea of redefining success can be applied any time, not just now, in the middle of 2020, not just now, during the pandemic, but really, anytime you find yourself stuck in a rut, unmotivated, or, even limited in what you think you can accomplish due to circumstances. If you’ve been stuck in a limited mindset, if you’ve felt held back by all of the reasons and excuses as to why you can’t be living the life you want to live, then this episode is for you my friend, where we’re going to expand our vision of what’s possible for your life, overcoming limiting beliefs, and possibly even strike up some tangible ideas of positive change you can make NOW. You can do it. I believe in you.
The reason I want to do this episode today is because many of you are feeling unmotivated after being quarantined now for several months. Many of you are feeling overwhelmed and exhausted by everything in the news. Perhaps you want to feel motivated again, and maybe you’re trying, but it feels like you're swimming upstream. Listen, I get it.
What I hope for you, is that you can break free from the external influences that are sapping your motivation. Because the reason we lose motivation, is not because we lose ability, or desire, but because we get burned out. We become exhausted. The world around us takes our energy. In order to get motivated, we have to start to fan the flame of desire of what we want in our life. That means we have to clarify what we want and envision, and there also has to be a level of belief that we can do it, and taking small steps in the right direction strengthens that belief. In order to stay motivated, we have to have a daily regime in place to keep that fire burning. We have to, every day, check in and remind ourselves what we’re doing and why we’re doing it, and what it’s going to take to get there. We have to have the mental and physical self care in place, daily, so we don’t get burned out. Nothing haults progress faster than burn-out.
See that’s the problem with those of us that are all or nothing about things. When we’re ALL in, we’re riding that high of motivation, but if we forget to take breaks and rest, and work our self-care routine, then we crash, and slip into that nothing mentality where we tell ourselves, I’m not doing it perfectly so why bother even trying? If you’re an all or nothing person, don’t stop going after things with full force, just get better at working a routine that’s going to support and help sustain your momentum. Remove the energy sappers in your life. If you’ve been hanging out with people who don’t lift you and motivate you to be a better person and live at your highest level, gently pull away from those people, or take control of the conversations you have with them, and guide them in a more positive direction. If you’ve been become addicted to social media and the news, cut ties for a while so you can reset your energy AND take back your own brain, take back control over what you think about, otherwise, all of the stuff is going to take away all your mental energy.
This week I’m doing a complete social media/news/tv cleanse. I moved Facebook, and Instagram, and Google News apps, which were the ones I found myself on the most, into their own folder NOT on my home screen so that I can break that habit of clicking on them every time I look at my phone, and I replaced my home screen apps with more positive and empowering ones. So whenever I get that urge to check social media or catch up on the news of the day, instead, I watch a TED talk through the TED app, I watch an inspirational video on the app Motivate, I listen to a podcast, or I read a book. I’m doing this for 7 days as an experiment and an attempt to take back control over my power that I have over my life, and after 7 days, I’m going to have limits for myself on when I can use those apps again, and for how long, and, I might just go back to quarantining myself from them again.
My husband Greg often tells me, just decide right now that you want it, and that you’ll have get it.
What would happen if you decided right now what you wanted in your life. Who you wanted to be. What you wanted to be/do/have/and experience? What would happen if you made that decision, and just decided, that whatever has stopped from having this reality up until now was no longer going to hold you back. That here’s nothing you can’t overcome. No roadblock. No challenge. No belief. Whatever was in your way, you’d overcome. Why not?
We convince ourselves that we can’t have a certain life. That we can’t make a different amount of money. That we can’t have a different body. That we can’t be a mom and hold down the household AND have our OWN interests and hobbies or side hustle. We convince ourselves that the way things have been is the only way.
But here’s the thing. We are figure it out people. As moms, when it comes to our kids, we always figure out a way to do what needs to be done, don’t we? Whether we have 1 kid, or 10 kids, it’s hard, but we figure it out. I like to travel with my kids, and my family lives out of state, and so I’ve traveled with them many times, by myself, even when they were babies. And people would always stop me at the airport and say, “boy you’ve got your hands full” and “they ask me how I travel by airplane with such young kids with all the baggage, and car seats, and entertaining them and I always say, I just figure it out. I just do what needs to be done to make it happen. And whenever I see a mom with a lot on her plate, instead of saying that not-so-helpful reminder of boy, you’ve got your hands full, I like to affirm to her, as moms, we figure it out, don’t we? We do what needs to be done, and we just do it. We do this with our kids and our families out of necessity and importance. What I’m asking you, as my fellow mom and friend, I’m asking you to hold your own dreams and goals in higher necessity and importance. I’m asking you to raise your ambitions for yourself and what you want out of this life, for your family, and yourself. You have the ability to figure anything out, to “make it happen”. Don’t underestimate what you can accomplish, achieve, pursue.
I believe, we can “do it all”. And remember, I’m not suggesting that you try to “do it all” in the sense of what you think you SHOULD be doing or what society expects of you, but I want you to “DO IT ALL” in terms of all that is important and meaningful to YOU in your life. All that you dream of and desire and value. And I want you to stop living in lack mindset. And stop telling yourself that mom life is hard and that you have no time or energy. And stop coming up with all the excuses in the book to not pursue what it is you want to pursue in your life. Whether you want to write a book, start or grow a business, get in the best shape of your life, make more money, create better functional systems at home, grow your family, go back to school…. girl, whatever it is….. whatever you want to do, whoever you want to be, whatever you want your life to look like, you can make it happen. Just like you’ve figured it out in your life another ways in the past. You can figure it out.
But first, clear out the reasons why you can’t. Because those aren’t going to help you. Think you don’t have time? Guess what? We all have 168 hours in the week, and you are 100% in charge of every single one of those hours. If you need help planning out your week, I created an online course for that, the Planner Makeover Course, which you can get for $29 at www.PlannerMakeovercourse.com.
But the question is: how do you do it? How do you get from A to B with any dream, when you’re already overwhelmed at point A? Here’s the secret. The secret is not that you set small goals, or SMART goals. No, life is too short for small goals. You set your dreams high, you set your standards high. BUT, to get there, here’s the thing. You don’t need to completely overturn your entire life. You take small, realistic, do-able, and consistent steps. Consistency is key. You find a few ways to tweak your daily routine, and you create habits out of them, you do them every day. This is the fun part because you begin to realize, wow. Change isn’t as hard as I thought.
And here’s where I want you to start asking yourself the what if questions. What would happen if…. You devoted 1 hour to your dream every day before the kids got up or after they went to bed or in the afternoon while they napped? What would happen if you consistently wrote 1 page of your book every day? What would happen if you consistently worked out for 30 minutes every day? What would happen, if you consistently spent 20 minutes every evening decluttering the house? Set a timer. Put it on your calendar, put it on your list of daily non-negotiables that you see every day. Whatever area of your life you want to create massive positive change in, you can, all you gotta do, is start pouring into that area of your life, just a little bit every day. See change compounds like interest. The small effort you put in daily, is going to make a huge difference in the long haul. It may not feel like it, but just imagine what your life could like 1 year from now, if you just started a new habit today, and worked at it consistently. It’s not going to feel like a huge life upheaval to start making small positive changes, but eventually, you’re going to notice and feel a HUGE difference in your life.
Make your goals non-negotiable. On any given day, you don’t skip food or water or breathing, because these are necessary for LIFE. Now make your DREAMS absolutely necessary. Stop treating them as negotiable. Stop telling yourself that you can’t, that it’s impossible.
And stop telling yourself you can’t do something because you’ve never done it before. Girl. Think back to before you had your first kid. Had you done it before? No, and you were probably freaking scared. But you did it anyway, you figured it out as you went along, because you had to, because baby was coming, and you had no other choice. You just, figure it out. Trial and error. If you’re afraid to do something because you tried and failed before, don’t let that stop you. You have your dreams in your heart for a reason. If you have goals and dreams that just won’t leave your heart, there’s a reason for that. Don’t let your past dictate your future. You make mistakes, and you learn from them and you do better next time. You try different ways. The #1 key to success in life is not giving up when it gets hard or when you think you’ve failed. You’ve got to be consistent and never stop connecting with what you want in your life.
You’ve got one shot at this life. Make your life that important, like you have no other choice. Don’t make settling for a mediocre life an option. You are important, your life is important. And remember that you’re setting an example to your kids. By going after YOUR dreams, and showing them that you can do anything you set your mind to, you’re giving them permission AND an example to grow up and do the same. And to your fellow moms around you. And to your spouse or partner, who KNOWS who you’ll have a positive impact on if you just decide that you want something, and you’re going to figure out how to do it. It’s because of that dream for my own life that I do this podcast. It’s because I believe in you and I want to see YOUR dreams come true. Moms are some of the most powerful creatures in this universe. We make life inside our bodies, for god’s sake. There’s no reason why, you can’t create anything you dream of, whatever is in your heart to do.
Let’s commit to changing the tides in our life for the rest of 2020, or whatever time you’re listing to this. We’re all moving forward. We might as well move forward in the direction we want to go. Remember, small, consistent steps, every day will add up to big changes. I can’t wait to see what you decide for your life. Thanks for listening today. Thanks for working on yourself. When you work on yourself, you’re helping to make the world a better place. Now go out there, take charge of your day, you beautiful, powerful, and incredible mama. Talk soon.