This post comes from my podcast, Motivation For Moms episode 72, entitled "Step Into The CEO Role." Be sure to subscribe to Motivation For Moms to get the latest show episodes as they are published, and please write a review, which is the ultimate gift to me.
It’s so ironic to me that we, as some of the strongest, capable, resourceful, resilient, figure-it-out people in the universe, and I truly, truly believe that we are, are also the ones who doubt ourselves the most. We constantly beat ourselves up. We constantly second guess ourselves. We worry that we’re never doing it right, we worry that we’re never doing enough, we worry that we’re always getting it wrong.
We dismiss our role and the importance and value of our role as “just moms,” especially if we are not financially contributing to the family, or if we don’t make a lot of money, as if that some how has anything to do with our worth (spoiler alert sister, it doesn’t).
We get wrapped up in the everyday mom struggles, and lose sight of our ability to have genuine intelligent adult conversations, that we begin to question our value in the adult world, and on top of that, we question whether we’re even doing it right at home, and if our parenting is effective.
It’s SO ironic to me, and I wish that, there were just a magic solution for all of us mamas to just be more confident all the time, and trust ourselves, and feel more empowered more often, but the truth is, self-confidence is a process, and it’s an ongoing process.
Because motherhood is such a mind-fuck, with so many days where we are left feeling like we didn’t exactly win, it has to be an ongoing job to keep our mind right, to remind ourselves that we’re not doing anything wrong, that we’re worthy of love and acceptance, and that, we are always growing, we have unlimited potential to grow in the ways in which we want to grow. Because self-love, self-acceptance, self-worth, self-confidence, all of the things we want and deserve, doesn’t mean that we turn a blind eye to the areas in which we want to grow.
I’m not going to be the person to tell you that you’re perfect just as you are and that you have no growing left to do, I mean, you are perfect just the way you are in terms of being worthy of love and acceptance and everything you want in this life, because you were born that way and there is NOTHING that could increase or decrease that worthiness, but no matter who you are, or how successful you are, or how much money you make, or what your credit score is, we are all equally a work in progress, we’re all constantly evolving, and I believe, we are right where we need to be on our journey on this planet.
Just like our kids are growing and learning, we’d never tell them to stop, but, we honor their journey and we nurture the growing process. In this episode, I want to honor you, all that you do, all that you are capable of, and perhaps, NOT capable of on any particular day, and respecting that, and give you some practical tips on how to increase your self confidence and how worthy you feel, and encourage you to step in to your everyday role like a CEO shows up to work. Let’s talk about the mentality that a CEO brings with her to her job every day, and how that can be applied at home.
I am so glad you’re here. You inspire me so much. Your’e the reason why I’m here because I believe in you. Because once upon a time I was a girl who didn’t believe in herself, and then I found my power, and that changed my life and change what I felt capable of, and I know that there are some of you who deep down still have belief and worth issues, but you still have incredible power, you just need to find it and tap into it. I truly feel honored to be in a career where I get to be among my fellow moms, some of the most amazing people in this universe.
Welcome back to this week’s episode of Motivation For Moms! I want to give a quick shout out, like I always try to do, to Jess, in Ohio, who posted a screenshot of this podcast on Instagram, and said in the comments section,
"Currently marathon listening to this podcast, so many great takeaways, feeling so motivated to live my best life. I also joined Sara’s Planner Makeover Course too and gobbled it up in one sitting, but keep re-watching the modules and as I sit down to plan out my next moves in life, because they’re so good. Thank you Sara for the podcast and your courses and all you do.”
So thanks Jess, from Ohio, on Instagram, I super appreciate that you’re sharing that you’re listening, I hope you know how proud of you I am and how inspired by you I am, thank you for being committed to working on yourself. Thank you for giving back to me in terms of spreading the word about this podcast and my Planner Makeover Course, I put a lot of effort into creating things to help you make your life better, and so it really means a lot. If you want to get a shout-out on the show, you can post a screen shot of the show on instagram and tag me, @saramuender, or, better yet, go on iTunes, and rate and review, which would rock my world.
So, I want you to start showing up as the CEO of your life. A strong, confident, kick-ass leader in your family.
A CEO doesn’t try to do everything herself. A CEO doesn’t whine and complain when people aren’t doing their jobs, she takes the reins and guides and inspires them to take action. She doesn’t play victim to the issues she deals with.
A CEO doesn’t run herself into the ground, she takes care of herself, because she values her role, and understands that her physical, mental, and emotional health is critical to the success of the business.
A CEO doesn’t rely on anyone to take care of her. She takes care of herself. A CEO doesn’t give up on a project or a goal when it gets hard, when she faces some resistance, she figures out a way to see the results she wants.
A CEO doesn’t let herself go, she puts her best face on before showing up to work, before doing anything. A CEO doesn’t stop growing, she is constantly doing personal development to become better, to become stronger, to learn how to better deal with people, to be more resilient.
And you, my dear friend, are a kick-ass CEO. You are a leader. You control the tides in your family.
And let me have a word with those of you spiritual sisters, who consider the man to be the head of the household, especially you Christian moms or moms of faith. I don’t normally talk about specific religious or Biblical things on the show but I know that there are a lot of Christian moms and moms of other faiths listening, and I just feel like you need to hear this.
You can still totally work with this episode and be a leader in your family, even if you believe that the man should be the head of the household, under God’s direction.
You can acknowledge the man as the head of the household AND still show up as CEO.
Listen, a company has an owner, and a CEO, and a lot of the time, these are not the same person. Okay. So, I’m not saying that your husband is the owner of you, take what you want from that. I’m just saying, that you both have a leadership role and can compliment one another.
I guess I bring this up because I was raised in a very structured religion that taught this principle of the man being the head of the household, and I always struggled with this in terms of, well what is the woman’s role then? And I never, ever, ever imagined that I would grow up and get married and have kids, and feel like a leader in my family.
And I’ve come to realize that even if you subscribe to this idea of the man being the head, you can still show up as CEO, you can still show up as a leader in your family, you can still show up in the ways that a leader does, because a leader has everyone’s best interests at heart, and I KNOW that that’s you, you totally have your family’s best interests at heart, and as a woman, you see the needs of your family in a different way than a man sees them, and you lead with example, you lead with kindness, you lead with love, and if in your family, your husband is the head of the household, he is going to notice and super appreciate you working to better yourself so you can raise your kids well, and be a wonderful complimentary partner to him.
I just felt like I had to acknowledge this because sometimes there is confusion about being a leader in your family in this type of household, and I want to acknowledge that stepping into a leader role and stepping into our CEO role in our family does not have to undermine, or disrespect, discredit, or threaten your husband’s role as head of the household. In fact, every single one of the moms I work with 1:1 who are married to men, who are working to better themselves and who are stepping it up as leaders and as example setters in their families, have reported that their husbands are happier since they’ve started their transformation, their husbands are inspired, and their personal work, the work the mamas are doing, benefits their marriage and their family as a whole as well.
So now you know. You have full permission to step into the leader role, the CEO role, even if you believe the man is the head of the household, because it’s coming from a place of example, and a place of love.
And on that note… CEOs, at least good CEOs, don’t force anyone to do anything. Everything they do comes from the devotion to betterment of the company and it’s stakeholders. So, as CEO of our family, we don’t force. We lead with love, and patience, by our example, and we’re consistent. Let’s look at some real life examples of how we step into CEO role in our family in day-to-day life.
If your home life is chaotic. If life at home feels dysfunctional, if your kids constantly leave their toys and clothes everywhere, if you’re the only one ever doing anything around the house, if they’re watching TV all day every day and not listening to you, if they have developed a disrespectful demeanor towards you, if you’re having to bribe or threaten your kids for every little thing you ask them to do if, whatever is going on at home that you know just is not working anymore and you need to see change, these are situations where you need to step into your CEO role, and create that change. It is your right as mom, and your responsibility to do this. You decide what’s going to happen, you get the spouse on board, however that works best between you, you communicate, lovingly, but firmly, this is what we’re going to start doing, this is what the consequences are if it doesn’t get done. You say, “I love you guys and want us all to be happy at home, I understand it can take time to get used to a new way of doing things, so I’m going to be patient, and I’m going to be here to help and remind you, but this is how it’s going to be now.”
And it starts with you. So YOU have to be willing to make change first. You have to be willing to be consistent with change, otherwise it’s going to confuse your family, and you and I both know, if we are not consistent, our family doesn’t take us seriously.
So we’ve got to be committed and consistent with making positive change. It’s not going to be a perfect journey. So if life happens and you forget what you were doing, and you have a day where things go back to how they were before, you just say, “Hey, I noticed we were doing this again. Let’s get back on track again with this new way of doing things.”
And remember to be consistent with consequences, but don’t be overly harsh. My approach with consequences is that it should be reasonable, and related. So for example, my girls love to play dress-up, and they have a special bin they keep their costumes in. And they have a habit of leaving their costumes all over the house, and not putting them away when they’re done with them. And so I’ve had to make it clear lately, that if they don’t put their costumes back when they're done, or when I ask them to, then the costume bin goes away for a while, and they don’t have unlimited access to it anymore. So that’s an example of a related consequence.
We have a google home set up and it’s connected to the TV, and so the girls learned really quick that they could ask Google to play their shows from Netflix on the TV. At first it was really cute that they could ask Google to play their show, but it got to a point where they were putting on the TV all day long without asking. And so, I had to step in and say, you have to ask permission to watch a show, and you can only turn the TV on once your list of daily chores and routines were completed, and then, you still have to ask me if you can turn on the TV. But I’ve got to be consistent in enforcing that policy, otherswise, there’s no point.
Eventually, your kids will have done the thing enough times that they remember, and it’s not going to feel like you’re nagging anymore. So be consistenty.
But we do all things out of love, calmly. We let our family know that we believe in them and we appreciate them, and that we love them so much that we want us all to have a good life together.
So how can you increase your confidence as a leader in your family? You need to hold yourself in high regard. Not in a bitchy sense like you’re better than everyone else, but in the sense that you have worth. You are an asset.
You keep reminding yourself of how important you are, and therefore, how important it is to care for yourself. You keep listening to positive people like me who remind you of that. You associate with only people who encourage you and inspire you and who believe in you. You sit with your journal and write down all of the things you do well and the things you love about yourself.
I’ve created a worksheet that will REALLY help you with your confidence as a leader, and help you tap into your power, and that’s called The Mama Miracle, and you can get it for FREE on my website.
This really is something that you have to work at every day, because of the nature of our jobs at home, and how fast paced life is these days, we have to have to have to have a daily routine of personal development where we work to increase our confidence and improve our mindset.
I think that we really have so many opportunities to be a leader in our family. If your marriage could use some therapy, but your spouse doesn’t want to go, it starts with you, you can seek therapy yourself. If you really really desire to better yourself and your life but your family just doesn’t have that same drive, it starts with you, and you just keep doing your thing, you keep listening to this podcast, you keep reading and journaling, and investing in yourself, and working at your goals, you keep working on how you react in stressful or triggering situations, you keep getting better and they WILL take notice and they WILL be inspired by you. Sometimes it just takes time and repetitively seeing you do your thing. So keep doing your thing. You’re amazing, and I love you.
Now go out there, take charge of your day, you beautiful powerful, and incredible mama, and you sexy CEO. Get after it. Talk soon.